What Is a Romance Scam?
A romance scam is a type of fraud in which someone creates a fake online persona to build a romantic relationship with the goal of gaining trust and eventually stealing money. Scammers often target people who are widowed, divorced, or who may be feeling lonely, because they know these individuals may be more emotionally vulnerable.
Romance scammers are skilled at manipulation. They invest time in building what feels like a genuine connection, sometimes over weeks or months, before they ask for money. Their tactics bypass your rational judgment by appealing to your emotions.
Important
Romance scammers are criminals. There is no shame in being targeted by one. If you have been scammed, it is not your fault. Report it to the dating platform, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), and your local law enforcement.
Common Warning Signs
Here are the most common behaviors that indicate someone may be a scammer:
- They want to leave the dating platform quickly. Scammers often ask to move to email, text, or a messaging app shortly after making contact. This is because dating platforms have fraud detection systems that may flag their accounts.
- They profess love unusually fast. If someone is declaring strong feelings after just a few conversations, be cautious. Genuine emotional connections take time to develop.
- They avoid video calls or meeting in person. Scammers will have a variety of excuses for why they cannot video chat: a broken camera, poor internet, being in the military, working overseas, or being on an oil rig. These are common fabrications.
- Their photos look too professional. Many scammers steal photos from other people's social media accounts or from stock photography websites. If the photos look like they belong in a magazine, be skeptical.
- Their story does not add up. Details about their life, job, or background may change from one conversation to the next.
The Profile That Seems Too Good
Scammers often create profiles of people who seem like ideal matches: attractive, successful, with interesting hobbies and a compelling life story. If a profile seems designed to appeal to exactly what you are looking for, it is worth approaching with healthy skepticism. Real people have quirks, imperfections, and complex lives. A profile that seems too perfect may be a fabrication.
The Emergency Story
The most common scam tactic is the emergency story. After building a relationship, the scammer claims to be in a crisis: a medical emergency, a legal problem, a business deal gone wrong, or a need to travel to see you. They will ask for money, often in the form of wire transfers, gift cards, or cryptocurrency. These payment methods are difficult to trace and nearly impossible to recover once sent.
No matter how convincing the story, never send money to someone you have not met in person. Legitimate romantic partners do not ask for financial help from someone they have never met face-to-face.
What to Do If You Suspect a Scam
If you suspect you are talking to a scammer, stop communicating immediately. Do not confront them, as this gives them an opportunity to manipulate you further. Report their profile to the dating platform. If you have already sent money, contact your bank or payment provider to see if the transaction can be stopped. Report the incident to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. For more information, see our article on common romance scams targeting seniors.