Before the Date
Safety on a first date starts before you even leave your home. The most important step is to tell someone you trust about your plans. Share the name of the person you are meeting, where you are going, and what time you expect to be back. You can also arrange to check in with a friend or family member after the date so they know you are home safely.
Do a quick search online for the person you are meeting. You do not need to do a deep background investigation, but a basic search can sometimes reveal inconsistencies or confirm that the person is who they say they are. If you find nothing at all, that is not necessarily a red flag, as many people have limited online footprints, but keep it in mind.
Key Point
Safety precautions are not about being paranoid. They are about being prepared. Most dates go perfectly fine, and these steps are simply a way to ensure that if something does go wrong, you have a safety net in place.
Choosing a Safe Location
Always meet in a public place for a first date. A coffee shop, a restaurant, a busy park, a museum, or a community event are all good choices. Avoid meeting at someone's home, in a secluded area, or anywhere that would make it difficult to leave if you felt uncomfortable.
Choose a location you are familiar with or that is easy to find. Knowing the layout of the place, where the exits are, and how to get home can help you feel more in control and relaxed. If possible, pick a place that is not too far from your home so you are not dealing with a long drive or unfamiliar public transit late at night.
During the Date
- Provide your own transportation. Do not accept a ride from someone you are meeting for the first time. Drive yourself, take public transit, or use a ride service. This ensures you can leave whenever you want.
- Keep your phone charged and accessible. Make sure your phone is fully charged before you leave home. Keep it with you, not in a bag that could be left at the table if you get up.
- Watch your drink. Do not leave your drink unattended, and do not accept a drink that you did not see being prepared. If you step away from the table, it is safest to order a fresh drink when you return.
- Limit alcohol. One drink is fine, but more than that can impair your judgment. Stay clear-headed so you can make good decisions.
- Do not share personal details. Avoid sharing your home address, workplace details, or financial information on a first date.
What to Do If You Feel Uncomfortable
If you feel uncomfortable at any point during the date, you have every right to leave. You do not need to wait for an obvious reason or a dramatic moment. A feeling that something is not right is reason enough. You can simply say, "I need to get going. It was nice meeting you," and leave.
If you feel unsafe, you can excuse yourself to the restroom and contact a friend or family member. You can also ask the restaurant or venue staff for help. Most establishments are trained to assist in situations where a customer feels uncomfortable or unsafe. Do not hesitate to ask for help if you need it.
After the Date
After the date, check in with the person you told about your plans. Let them know you are home safely. If the date went well and you want to see the person again, you can send a follow-up message. If you do not want to see them again, a brief, polite message is considerate. If the person makes you feel unsafe or continues to contact you after you have declined further dates, block them on the dating platform and on your phone.